What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
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Albert Einstein
Mark Twain
Marilyn Monroe
Ambrose Bierce
Harry S Truman
Sam Levenson
Chris Rock
Steven Colbert
George Carlin
Paula Poundstone
Ronald Knox
Woody Allen
Jack Handey
Lana Turner
Fanny Brice
Wendy Cope
Stephen Wright
Will Rogers
David Brent
George Carlin
Winston Churchill
Lord Byron
Gloria Pitzer
Johnny Carson
Nancy Drew
Nancy Reagan
Anonymous |
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. |
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