Hilarious Quotes

Spot remover

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
Steven Wright

If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.
Wilson Mizner

My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates

If electricity comes from electrons… does morality come from morons?
Anonymous

A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.
Puzant Kevork Thomajan