Hilarious Quotes

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Hilarious Quotes - The best collection of top hilarious quotes available on the Internet i.e. a site with lots of hilarious quotes and messages.

I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight

I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight…..it’s called super glue.
Anonymous

I am not afraid of death

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen

Cats always land on their feet

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Stephen Wright

One out of every four people

One out of every four people suffers from some form of mental illness. So the next time you’re with 3 of your friends, study them carefully. If they seem OK – You’re the one!!
Anonymous

Let’s go to heaven

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
Anonymous